Self Image and Doubt? I Wouldn’t Doubt It
What are they going to think of me?
Why did I say that to them?
I am going to be honest here (as always) and say that I, along with many others, ask the above questions to myself a lot. I mean a lot.
So, who are they? Who are these mystical, wise and not to mention superior beings, whose opinions I care about so much? Well, just about anyone, whether it’s me wondering if the courier who just delivered a package to my home, thinks I am an absolute (non-hot) mess, when I answered the door in my Pj’s or someone I have known for years, who must think I have been too outspoken about a topic and sounded like a ‘moaner’.
Hindsight is a double-edged sword, because it is what makes you say to yourself, that you ought to not care so much about things, that bare no real significance in your life, but of course you still do it. It is like eating a whole box of donuts in one sitting, you can’t help yourself and know you probably will feel like you might combust afterwards, but this won’t stop you next time from doing the same thing all over again. Of course, there are things that should take a lot of your time and consideration, but a lot of what we worry about, is in fact never going to happen.
Being a Singer and writer, there is often an assumption that I must be very confident. I think like most artists I work hard and am assured at what I do, but my self-confidence is a totally different ball game, bordering on a ball pit. What I mean by ball pit, is that you are constantly surrounded by thoughts about your skill, your look, personality, that you are ultimately submerged in.
Sometimes, I find I actually worry more about myself as a person and what I look like physically, rather than I do about my career. It is almost like when I perform, it is an escapism from wondering why my hair has somehow managed that day to resemble Dougal the Dog from the Magic Roundabout. What we see as society’s expectations of us, can feel deflating, rather than rising above it and just being our beautiful unique selves. I have naturally curly hair and have started to embrace that more, in fact it has made me wonder why I spent so long making it look just the opposite!
If there is one piece of advice that I always find worth it’s weight in gold, it is that people who genuinely care about you are not going to judge, besides, they are too busy judging themselves.
Thanks for reading and have a beautiful day!
Francesca is a classically trained singer and writer. She performs all over the UK at ceremonies and events. Her blog Frantastic View, was nominated for a Blogger Recognition Award in 2017. Francesca’s new play Koster Three, will be performed at The Pub Theatre Festival in October 2019.